College Essay (Architecture).

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kennedy

kennedy

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Hello, I'd like to share the 300-word college application essay I wrote for the University of Kansas. It was the only one that was architecture-specific. It gets submitted in about a day, when all the other supplemental stuff is sent, so if you notice any glaring issues, please do comment. I know it's very cheesy, but a bit of bragging is always required for an admissions essay. And if you realize that the scenes I describe don't really jive geographically, don't worry about it-I know, and I don't think it makes a difference. Thanks. Oh, and by the way, please don't steal this. It is my personal work, and I'd hate for KU to tell me they've found copies of this scattered across the wild wild web and I lose my admission.

EDIT: I've removed my posts just for the purpose of keeping them safe. I understand that once they're up, they're up regardless of whether or not I delete the post. Either way, I'd prefer to deter any other architecture applicant who happens to Google "KU architecture essay," and be linked right here. Van, ideally I'd appreciate if you could delete this entire thread. Thanks to those who corrected some of my mistakes.
 
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Passersby! Jeez, I spent a good 15 minutes trying to figure out if there was a hyphen, if it was a real word, if I should just use pedestrians instead. Passersby. Got it.
 
Sumner Tunnel goes into town, Callahan Tunnel to East Boston.
 
Changed. And BB, did you pick up that city hall reference with your screen-name?

Also, I'd like to avoid using the word "architecture" 1230477123957 times in the second paragraph. In the "...does not daunt my desire to study architecture..." line, would anyone agree that changing architecture to "building design" or perhaps simply "design" would help? I'd get to keep my little alliteration going, and cut the repetition of "architecture."
 
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I would admit you. That sounds like it pretty much sums up a lot of the attitudes likely shared by those of us frequenting this site, myself included. I wish you luck, you sound like an excellent candidate.
 
kennedy said:
Changed. And BB, did you pick up that city hall reference with your screen-name?

Also, I'd like to avoid using the word "architecture" 1230477123957 times in the second paragraph. In the "...does not daunt my desire to study architecture..." line, would anyone agree that changing architecture to "building design" or perhaps simply "design" would help? I'd get to keep my little alliteration going, and cut the repetition of "architecture."
Click to expand...

I was going to point this out before reading this post. Simply shortening it to "yet my desire is undaunted" or something similar would give you a few words to work with elsewhere.

I'd also consider revising the first couple sentences as the flow is very slightly off (to my ear).

It's a very good essay that would be outstanding with a few tweaks. I think you're going to be fine. Best of luck.
 
You the SMATR posters being here. NOOONE want MY desines!!!!. BUT. I am essayingwords to you: "Arkitekt is state of mind.Arkrkitetura is state of developrs wallet.
 
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