Okay, so who here wants to disect this?

[Mayor Menino's Crohn's]

And it's CLEAN, off-topic but a pickle nevertheless...


A little background. I'm a freelance writer. I've written for some local business publications outside of Boston (no big name publications). Times have been tough though. I'm twenty-seven, living with my father for the time being, outside of Boston until I get back on my feet.

Flash forward to last night. I was asked to cover something that was out of my realm of expertise. I covered this singer-songwriter last night in New Hampshire (wont say who or where in NH). Ironically enough, I had been facebook friends with this singer-songwriter months earlier. But it was a last minute assignment. And without names, this singer-songwriter, well, she's well known locally. And she's great.

To make a long story short, I go up, and I'm blown away by her beauty. You know that feeling when your heart beats a-billion speeds of light, and your knees turn to jello? That's how I felt. That's how I still feel.

But to maintain my professionalism, I sit down before the show. And as I'm interviewing her, it feels like I've known her for years. She's warm, inviting, and just all around awesome. We talk about our interests, musically, politically, and it's almost linear. Great minds think alike. We finished each others sentences.

So, I ask the questions, write them down, take pics of her and her guitarist. She later performs. She dedicates a song to me and gives me a wink onstage. I felt special.

So, after her set, she gives me three hugs simultaneously. It's quarter of eleven. I have to drive back to the Merrimack Valley, and she has to go back to Boston where she works her other job. I told her that I would send her a rough draft of the write-up, and I just did before I came on.

Problem: I'm in love, but she doesn't know how I feel (especially after it was the first time I met her, and she's single). I feel uncouth asking her out because I'm not making the money as she is. She's not rich by any means (especially since she works as an educator for her other job). But I'm just starting to look at apartments after two years of living with my father. I'm just not sure what to say, what I should say. I feel like a fourteen year old girl right now just contemplating shit.

I'll take any advice. Wiseass or not. Best.

 

[Lurker]

Either:

A - She's already dating an asshole
B - You need to strike when the iron is hot and ask her out on a date

Better to try and fail, rather than miss an opportunity and hate yourself for it later on.

 

[Mayor Menino's Crohn's]

She's single

She just sent me a fb message saying that she hated my article and that she made some changes to my article. But the changes were similar to my quotes.

She also laughed as she wrote my article she told me.

I feel like the biggest douche in the world. My heart has just sunk.

 

[Lurker]

If it makes you feel any better; the first time I met my wife, she punched me in the face and gave me a black eye.

 

[statler]

Well, I would imagine that would be a common response, no?

edit: (just in case)

 

[Mayor Menino's Crohn's]

From Facebook

Hey ****

I'm not sure what happened, but very little of the information is correct from our interview. there is a lot in there that I'm positive I didn't say... 'cause it just isn't true. I hated it. i'm laughing as I write this, but also editing the article. I'll send it over and then you can send it off. cool?

thanks so much for taking the time to do this, and it was really nice to meet you.

***** *******

And then she sends me an email

Hey ****, I just got your article. Looks good. Just made a few changes. Send me the link when it's done....*****

And it's so saturday night live-esque the changes. She basically didn't change shit as I am looking at her revised version.

 

[BostonUrbEx]

"Hey, we should go grab a coffee and maybe we can talk about the article"

Just an idea.

 

[Mayor Menino's Crohn's]

"Hey, we should go grab a coffee and maybe we can talk about the article"

Just an idea.

that's what my father says...though he says to wait a week


thanks guys...

 

[JohnAKeith]

Take the advice of George Costanza and do the opposite of what you'd usually do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY

 

[Mayor Menino's Crohn's]

Guess I could learn a thing or two from George Costanza


Sigh* Guess I could learn some confidence. But I'm waiting for someone to chime in with the obligatory "move on, you blew it."

 

[vanshnookenraggen]

You haven't blown it yet. Just keep talking to her about other things but keep it light and funny. You have confidence but if you think about it you lose it. (Trust me, I've been there, we have ALL been there.)

The idea is to want it but don't seem like you want it. So once you are both having fun talking then step it up and hang out, then when you are having fun hanging out step it up and kiss her, and so on.

Basically, don't think about it, JUST DO IT.

Take the advice of George Costanza and do the opposite of what you'd usually do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKUvKE3bQlY

Honest to god... this has worked for me so. many. times.

Seriously dude, just go for it. If she says yes then AWESOME. If she says no then you will forget her in a week. Emotions blind you; just don't give a fuck.

 

[GW2500]

My advice w/ ladies. Don't get emotions involved untill you've had sex. You must avoid the friend zone at all costs. Seriously you'll never nice a girls pants off. My advice is to keep in the back of your mind that you could kick her ass. Don't get me wrong never harm a lady. But just remember she has these little arms and shoulders and you have broad ones. Its that body language that girls get turned on by. Its basically the mentality of Swingers and the girl being a bunny rabbit. And maybe most importantly do all of this subtly and moderatly. With women its a total balance act. But no edge equals friends at best.

Also as a part time musician myself I must warn you that a lot of female musicians, especially white ones, are head cases once you really get to know them.

 

[palindrome]

I like the idea of asking her out for a coffee to discuss the article. I would just send her a message after a couple of days along the lines of "hey I'm covering something in Boston tomorrow (couple days, next week, day of article, etc....), want to grab a coffee (drink?) and discuss the article?"

As stated, you seem to really hit it off conversation wise, so nothing to worry about in terms of awkward pauses. Just start with the article and segway into a regular convo and then go from there. Be careful though, because this could really take you into friend zone territory.

 

[Shepard]

She was being funny and flirty when she said she hated the article and it didn't reflect what she had said. I'm 100% positive of this. And it proves one more time that someone needs to invent a sarcasm font on the internet.

 

[Mayor Menino's Crohn's]

You guys are my best (online) friends!!! Thank you for the advice!!!

She sent me two messages that I got today. She texted me late last night. She told me that she felt bad about the article. She said that she wanted me to "add anything that she missed." And she sent me an apology again on Facebook.

So, I kept it professional saying that "what I have is fine, I will send it off." I also did what my Shrink just told me, that I should tell her that I should catch her next show. Keep it light, and at her next show, ask her out for coffee. So, that's what I did. I just told her that I hope to catch her next show.

But these are super suggestions! Thanks again!

 

[palindrome]

sounds like a good plan. Good luck!

 

[Lurker]

Don't ever mention ArchBoston. You don't want her reading this thread.

 

[vanshnookenraggen]

My advice w/ ladies. Don't get emotions involved untill you've had sex. You must avoid the friend zone at all costs. Seriously you'll never nice a girls pants off. My advice is to keep in the back of your mind that you could kick her ass. Don't get me wrong never harm a lady. But just remember she has these little arms and shoulders and you have broad ones. Its that body language that girls get turned on by. Its basically the mentality of Swingers and the girl being a bunny rabbit. And maybe most importantly do all of this subtly and moderatly. With women its a total balance act. But no edge equals friends at best.

This.

Also as a part time musician myself I must warn you that a lot of female musicians, especially white ones, are head cases once you really get to know them.

Also this.

 

[Mayor Menino's Crohn's]

Don't ever mention ArchBoston. You don't want her reading this thread.

This.

Originally Posted by GW2500
My advice w/ ladies. Don't get emotions involved untill you've had sex. You must avoid the friend zone at all costs. Seriously you'll never nice a girls pants off. My advice is to keep in the back of your mind that you could kick her ass. Don't get me wrong never harm a lady. But just remember she has these little arms and shoulders and you have broad ones. Its that body language that girls get turned on by. Its basically the mentality of Swingers and the girl being a bunny rabbit. And maybe most importantly do all of this subtly and moderatly. With women its a total balance act. But no edge equals friends at best

Also this.

Also as a part time musician myself I must warn you that a lot of female musicians, especially white ones, are head cases once you really get to know them.

I'll keep this in the back of my mind. Proceed with caution.

 

[Mayor Menino's Crohn's]

I didn't even have to ask...Just now, she texted me, asked if I wanted to hang out in Davis Square this coming Wednesday...I said "yes." She's like "See you then!"


I am SKY-HIGH!!!


Thank you guys for your advice!!!