Rules for Riding the T

statler

statler

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Green Line:
Are you the first person on at an above ground stop?
Look ahead of you. Is there a large open space?
Look behind you. Is there a large group of people crammed together glaring angrily at you?
If the the answer to these questions is Yes, then please...MOVE THE FUCK FORWARD!

Feel free to add your own rules.
 
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Dont turn your back on someone on a crowded train and just back up to them as much as possible and pretend they don't exist when they're jammed into a corner.

Be aware of the backpack on your back, and the people your repeatedly bumping into with said backpack.

If your a young guy, give up your seat for really old people... what the hell. (unless you honestly think you've had a more physically exhausting day than them, in which case, screw em)

Don't talk on your cellphone the entire busride! especially if you have a very annoying effeminate voice (nothing wrong with it, just sounds like nails on a chalkboard)

Ahhhh... don't grope people? I thought this was only for women and obvious but I've definately got my balls fondled and I had no idea who did it!!!!!

Move INTO the car... dont try to get on the train till others get off....Dont stare at people... I could go on and on.

BTW statler, that was pretty freakin funny
 
Suffolk 83 said:
Don't talk on your cellphone the entire busride! especially if you have a very annoying effeminate voice (nothing wrong with it, just sounds like nails on a chalkboard)
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HA! were you on the 1 bus yesterday? becuase i was thinking the same thing, as some effeminate voiced guy talked the whole way from central to hynes
 
Suffolk 83 said:
Ahhhh... don't grope people? I thought this was only for women and obvious but I've definately got my balls fondled and I had no idea who did it!!!!!
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Oh, was that you? Sorry. :eek:
 
Thanks for violating me Statler, I had some new material to tell my therapist.
 
1) If you are listening to your music player, ipod, etc., make sure your volume isn't so high that I can actually hear the lyrics. It's enough having to ride a train/bus where everyone is talking loud and here you are blasting your loud music and your hearing away.

2) Same thing with people listening to the ringtone/songs on teh cellphone. Not everyone want to hear your songs. Go buy youself an music player, ipod, etc. Can't afford one? Get a job and then follow rule 1.

3) Keep the profanity to a minimum. If every 3 or 4 words is a swear, go grab a dictionary and learn some new adjectives/nouns/etc.

4) If you're not going to move back, allow space so the other people can move back. Otherwise don't glare at me if I have to push you out of the way.

5) Don't litter on the vehicles. Hold on to your junk until you get off the bus. I hate deciding whether to sit on a dirty seat or not while holding a two ton bag.

6) If you are going to fall asleep, please don't lean on me. I am small. I will be crushed.
 
If you don't like the lettuce in your Big Mac, don't pick it out piece by piece between bites, dropping it nonchalantly on the floor of a subway car.
 
DarkFenX said:
3) Keep the profanity to a minimum. If every 3 or 4 words is a swear, go grab a dictionary and learn some new adjectives/nouns/etc.
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Some help from Willie S.:
A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir to a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deni'st the least syllable of thy addition.
King Lear, 2. 2
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You said knave thrice.
I like knave.
 
- If you're going to pay in pennies (and you have no idea where said pennies are in your jacket/pants/etc) don't do the "sly" dive in front of someone else in line as they're getting on a trolley or bus to pay with their Charlie Card. (Note: this happens more often than not when the weather is particularly horrible - leaving you to get drenched while they sort themselves out)

- Push-To-Talk cell phones are verboten. My hatred for these is simply unreal.

- If you're a tourist. LOOK AT THE MAP. Next, LISTEN TO THE ANNOUNCEMENTS. If the speaker above your head is blaring "NEXT STOP, PRUDENTIAL........ENTERING PRUDENTIAL" don't stand there and scream "Where are we? I want to go to Prudential!" over and over again to your fellow tourists. I don't care if you've never been on mass transit before in your life. A little effort put into thinking about things will go a long, long way. Dare to adapt to new surroundings.

- Don't you dare pretend to ignore that old guy / pregnant woman / etc struggling to stand up while you sit in your seat seemingly oblivious. Extra masshole points go to those stretched out over two or three seats.
 
If the train is empty, feel free to spread out. You aren't actually obligated to hump my leg the whole ride. This will not lead to you getting extra points.

And just to add emphasis to what someone else already said... Move Into the GOD DAMN TRAIN!!!
 
- If the car is packed and people are trying to exit, step out of the car if you're near the door. I can't believe these people who just stand there blocking half the entrance while people are trying to squeeze in and out.
 
^ It's a real treat when they've got suitcases the size of a dorm room refrigerator.
 
Instead of waterboarding and all those other legally iffy tourture practices, the CIA should just make suspects ride the B line for 8 hours a day.. Lechmere to BC, BC to Lechmere, over and over and over. If that isn't enough to make a grown man crack I don't know what is.
 
haha^.

another green line rule. have your money/charlie card ready to go before the train arrives!
 
When your Green line train comes to a stop for 20 minutes between Hynes and Copley because of a disable train ahead, it is not an appropriate time to clip your fingernails on a tightly packed train, with your nails flying at adjacent passengers with careless abandon.

Nor is it appropriate to bite the multiple scabs on your arm, and then chew, and then swollow your scabs, if you are within 5 feet of another rider. This rule applies whether there is a disable train ahead of you or not.

Lastly, if you try to shove your way aboard the train before I am able to get off with my son, and you feel me elbowing you in your chest or jaw as hard as I can, and you stand there staring at me wondering why that just happened, it's because you're an impatient asshole who doesn't care that you are crushing a small child.
 
it is not an appropriate time to clip your fingernails on a tightly packed train,
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I saw some kid doing that today, weird... who carries around a nail clipper. I kinda like these strange people, it can bring a chuckle to an otherwise boring and sometimes annoying commute home.

- If the car is packed and people are trying to exit, step out of the car if you're near the door. I can't believe these people who just stand there blocking half the entrance while people are trying to squeeze in and out.
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I'd completely agree with you, but I've seen people lose their spot on the train when they've stepped out to be polite..... ouch.
 
Yeah, the other day I got up to give my seat to an elderly woman and some meat head a-hole ran as fast as he could and sat there. I gave him a glare and he said "WHAT?" How are people so rude!?
 
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