Rules for Riding the T

Not to be a jerk, but if you're an extremely "overweight" or "obese" person, try to stick to two seats. Seriously. I've had some hippos sit next to me and I felt like I was gonna be crushed. Seriously, you can't fit in one friggin seat.
 
Yeah, the other day I got up to give my seat to an elderly woman and some meat head a-hole ran as fast as he could and sat there. I gave him a glare and he said "WHAT?" How are people so rude!?

I had that similar experience where I found an empty seat and I was already halfway down when some asshole ran and sat on the seat. He gives me this face and says 'no.' Should have knocked him out with my two ton bag.
 
I had that similar experience where I found an empty seat and I was already halfway down when some asshole ran and sat on the seat. He gives me this face and says 'no.' Should have knocked him out with my two ton bag.

I'm generally missing a few screws when it comes to temperament and social mores so i actually seriously consider knocking people out with my bag but then I'd probably be labelled a terrorist and subdued at the next T stop.

But on another note, it's generally pretty hard to set guidelines or these informal rules because there is always a but, if, exception involved which either crosses out one of the rules with a revised rule (because of capacity, ignorance, etc,) but I guess I could just take all of this chatter as poking fun at the many characters on the train. We should make Bus & Amtrak rules too. Boy, I have so many stories...
 
Boy, I have so many stories...

One day in 1987 I decided to take the train home via North Quincy instead of getting off at Fields Corner.

The stop was near- I moved toward the door and grabbed a pole below where a little old lady was holding. She then moved her hand down to try and push me off the pole so I moved above her and held on tighter. She tried it again- I looked at her quizzically and she bit my arm.

The train door opened as I yelped and everyone in the crowd looked at me like I was a masher attacking this little old lady. I stepped off the train and she gave me a sly smile as the train pulled away.

What a mean little old lady.
 
I saw some kid doing that today, weird... who carries around a nail clipper. I kinda like these strange people, it can bring a chuckle to an otherwise boring and sometimes annoying commute home.
QUOTE]

I once saw an old woman take off her shoes on the red line and clip her toenails. *THAT's* disgusting.
 
Rule #44: do not lean against the pole on a crowded train. allow for space so others can hold on. and if people are already holding the pole, do not hug it so that your belly of chest fat envelops their hands.
 
By way of confession, I am a total seat whore. At least in the morning when I really, really don't feel like standing.
I really feel bad when I get to State St, put my paper away and notice there is an 80 year old lady who has probably been standing there for the past 5 stops. :eek:
I mostly stand for the ride home, unless the train is unusually empty.
 
I saw some kid doing that today, weird... who carries around a nail clipper. I kinda like these strange people, it can bring a chuckle to an otherwise boring and sometimes annoying commute home.
QUOTE]

I once saw an old woman take off her shoes on the red line and clip her toenails. *THAT's* disgusting.

I'll top that...kind of. A couple of my friends were riding the redline when the obese women in front of them, possibly drunk, took out a water bottle and started pouring it over her head. She then proceeds to rub her ummm private while yelling out "Oh my p*ssy is so hot." She then threw the bottle down the car. Glad I wasn't there to see it though.
 
My wife wanted me to add that it's not ok for you obsessively to bite the dried skin off your cracked lips, and then suck the blood off your lips from your freshly reopened wounds. This is especially wrong for grossly overweight women to do.

And this rule applies to the Green Line....if you're a scrawny kid who probably ditched school for the day to go to an afternoon Red Sox game and got completely wasted; if you chose to taunt much larger (and possible equally as drunk) fans of the opposing team on the train after the game, no one else on the train cares enough about your Red Sox loalty to defend you from getting your ass beat.
 
Ha! I'm not scared of you! Red Sox Nation has got my back!

Right guys?

...uh, guys?
 
I hate that kid. There's one on every train to or from a game. No, I don't defend them, and I can't stand that they're so drunk they think they're funny and keep repeating the same unfunny, slurred joke and their two drunk friends and maybe one ugly girl laugh.

However, I'll support any decent fan that's getting heckled beyond reason (meaning bordering on assault) on the train. I HATE the Yankees, but on one subway ride back to the hotel after a Sox/Yanks game in New York I was surrounded by four large kids who got on at the 125th street stop (i was separated from my group due to the packed train) and they started saying, "F**K the Red Sox... New York Yankees, Bitch!" and getting inches from my face, and two Sox fans and one Yankees fan saw and the yankees fan said to the kid in my face, "either kiss him and get it over with or back the f**k off!" and the kids moved away and said nothing more.

I was appreciative and I did nothing (other than have a sox jersey on) to provoke the words, so I'd do the same for anyone else.
 
rules or riding the MTA: Don't wear Red Sox Apparel
rules for riding the MBTA: Don't wear Yankees Apparel
 
ATTENTION HARVARD SQUARE

When the crowded Red Line train pulls into the station and opens its doors, try to at least give the people trying to disembark a fighting chance to get out before you barge on in like they're giving free candy inside and they've almost run out.

You'd think people would understand the simple rules of volume and displacement, but apparently the notion that "if I don't let the people off the train, there'll be no room for me to get on the train" is too goddamned hard for some to wrap their brains around. And yes, it always seems to happen only at Harvard. Go figure.
 
I'll top that...kind of. A couple of my friends were riding the redline when the obese women in front of them, possibly drunk, took out a water bottle and started pouring it over her head. She then proceeds to rub her ummm private while yelling out "Oh my p*ssy is so hot." She then threw the bottle down the car. Glad I wasn't there to see it though.

I had a similar experience once one on the B line. A scandalously dressed, fifty-something woman was sitting in a seat in front of a 10-year-old boy and his Dad. I noticed her continually turning to glare at him. She seemed mentally ill and was very creepy - she was filled with rage and muttering curses. All of a sudden she stood up, turned toward the boy, put her right leg on the back of her seat and started to masturbate angrily. It was one of the most shocking things I've ever seen. We all just bailed to the back of the car.

My Rules (aside from keeping things clean for the kids):
1) Don't sit on the outer seat of a two-seat bench and make people crawl over you to fill the orphaned empty seat.
2) Don't apply your make-up. The subway is not your bathroom. If you care enough about the people you work with to make yourself up for them, how little do you care about your fellow riders that you will subject them to watching you trowel on your products?
3) Don't stop at the top of the escalator to figure out where your are. Walk to the nearest map or take 10 paces and step to the side.
 
Stand on the right side of the escalator, walk on the left.

I was surprised when I was in Paris, this rule is not always followed. It IS followed on moved sidewalks however
 
^^I find that this rule is followed a lot better on moving sidewalks anywhere. I think the escalator issue depends on where you are/ what time of day it is. I've seen it broken in plenty of cities and I've also seen it followed very well. I'm guessing that at 8:30am Mon-Fri. on a downtown subway station (any city) it's followed fairly well; while on Saturday or Sunday at the South Shore Plaza, you'd be lucky to find one person intentionally staying to the right.
 
- If you're a tourist. LOOK AT THE MAP. Next, LISTEN TO THE ANNOUNCEMENTS. If the speaker above your head is blaring "NEXT STOP, PRUDENTIAL........ENTERING PRUDENTIAL" don't stand there and scream "Where are we? I want to go to Prudential!" over and over again to your fellow tourists. I don't care if you've never been on mass transit before in your life. A little effort put into thinking about things will go a long, long way. Dare to adapt to new surroundings.

I think this might be a little easier said than done. Those T drivers aren't exactly the most articulate speakers, unless you're at South Station on a Friday afternoon before a long weekend and they're screaming "MOVE BEHIND THE YELLOW LINE!" But you are right, if you're a tourist and confused, it doesn't hurt to politely ask the person next to you if they can help you out, rather than just standing there till the last minute and then screaming about how you don't know where you are.
 
I'll stick up for Sox fans who are getting heckled, but if they're picking a bad fight, then I won't help until he's realized he's getting his ass kicked.
 

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