You need to re-read those more carefully or come up with better joke material.
People champion buffered bike lanes, and accept buffers made of just about anything (trees, concrete, pylons, or, yes, cars). But that's where on-street parking is assumed to be acceptable/needed. In those threads it is usually a question of asking that the bike lane be moved from the driver's side of a line of cars to the passenger's side (the sidewalk side). It is done there as a way of pointing out that bike lane can work on either side of a line of cars (without using "war on cars" political capital), but that the protected side is better-- not that the line of cars is preferred.
There's no conflict here either. This is the "war on cars" part of increasing the capacity of our surface streets, first by going after parked cars and later by going after moving cars. Both are huge space hogs, but immobile cars are particularly bad at moving people.
Take away the parking so that it can be better replaced with frequent, free-flowing, all-day bus and bike alternatives that serve both commuters and transients. Clear?
